Terry Bad NFL Picks

by Terry Bender

Look, I ain’t going to mess around with claims or anything, I’d just like to set that straight before you put your mortgage payment on these picks.  I am a gambler at heart, and while I try my best, heavy drug use has killed many of the few brain cells God blessed me with, so sometimes I lose.  Because last year I lost over $20,000 gambling in about a six month span, which resulted in me getting kicked out of Costa Rica, I felt it was necessary to title my sports picks page “Terry Bad NFL Picks.”  So, without further ado, I try to recoop my cake with these here picks for week one of the 2009 NFL Football season.

Miami Dolphins +4

I know, all you have a hard-on for Michael Turner and the rest of the Hotlanta Falcons.  This pick should surprise ya’ll.  Take it to the bank and you can thank me later.

Houston Texans -4

The Mark “Dirty” Sanchez era will start with Steve Slaton and the Texans pounding their knees into the helmets of the J-E-T-S.  As we say in Miami “Just End The Season.”

I plan on those picks going 2-0 this weekend.  Lock it up, bitches.